Fight with all your might but choose your battles wisely.

Last week I was challenged to tell one of my stories, something I had experiences but to keep it light. Nothing too heavy but to still bring hope and encouragement. I had some stories in mind but none recent so I found this assignment somewhat challenging as I sometimes tend to make most situations in my life way more serious than they really are (😐 hmmm a lesson all in itself) no telling how many times I'd been told, Joi don't worry, take it easy, it's not that serious. Tuuhhh you don't know my life and how things make me feel! 😏 I had to ask myself why do I take things to heart so?? Like last week. I had to do Army combative. Our version of MMA fighting. I was all geekedand and excited a few weeks ago. Ready to jump in and tackle any challenge, school, task or mission that my new unit had for me so as to add more diversion and variety to the array of things I had already accomplished in my career. What's a week of learning different clench drills, chokes and moves learning how to break someone's arm?😳 yeah not so much. I was called last minute, on my day off to go ahead and join in the class, right after a physical therapy appointment. Somehow that didn't match up but I agreed anyways. Regardless of how I'm feeling I've always been one to sacrifice personal gain for the betterment of this great Army I serve but lately I didn't feel like the Army was serving me well. See I just got a notification that kinda threatened my career. All these questions are now in my mind. How will I make it? How will I pay my bills? No need to worry, I'll have plenty of time to plan. So day 1 of this grappling and closing distance, straddling my battle buddies in a wrestling type of position, learning different techniques of being a warrior and fighter. This so does not fit my personality. I'm not a physical fighter. With all the things going on in my head as of right now I'm not even thinking about fighting. Ok I can do this. One of the instructors has taken time out to catch me up on where the class is. I'm recalling some of these terms and hold as we are talking through them and he's demonstrating. This isn't too bad, it's Army survival right? Here it comes to the end of the day when it's time to put to use what we've learned and roll around on the mat with our partners and execute these different techniques of gaining dominant positions and submission. It's physicsl and it's rough and I don't like it. I freeze up. I feel like I'm in a real fist fight although we aren't punching and kicking we are trying to keep one another pinned down. Now we're excurting most of our strength. My issue occurs when I realize I'm not as strong as this full grown man I'm tussling with. He's literally over powering me. I want to scream, kick, cry. I feel myself getting flushed. Get off of me!! That's enough I say, I'm done! He stops and lets me up. The way I'm feeling I'm ready to cry so to the bathroom I go. A few tears, I gotta catch my breath. Okay, now a little self talk. Come on Joi. You can do this, no I can't, yes you can. Ok calm down, wipe your eyes. Go back out there. A few battle buddies ask if I'm ok. The only other female on the class is more personable. Us girls gotta stick together. I tell her what's going on. She's very sympathetic. I talk to my supervisor after class. Right off the bat, he's like hey none of us are really grasping this, just go through the motions. Ok I guess. I can do that and leave the emotions out of it. The next day is a little easier. I made it. The day after they I made it, different drills, less rolling on the ground. Still fighting but it's about self defense. The next day, we have an opponent. Good thing is we work with them so they aren't strangers. Bad thing is they get to punch us. Every bit of adrenaline and courage I have I'm using, no holding back. I get in the ring which mind you looks like an MMA cage. Only one way out, and that's with a win. We go 3 rounds I make it through each one. The worst is over. Finishing the class will nod be simple; a written test and some hands on. I learned for this experience that I really can overcome even when it means facing things I'm not into. Everything about physical fighting goes against the heart of my morals and character. I had to choose a different perspective. I chose to keep it light, I took my own limits, weights and constraints off. The mental fight I was in a few days before was kicking my butt. I had to overcome that and do what I had to do. So truth be told, I am a fighter and I fought to get over myself, my emotions, my fears and complete the task! So fight with all your might but choose your battles wisely.